Last Friday, I experienced what I would consider another huge victory over my anxiety. I went to the Bon Jovi concert despite all the anxious thoughts telling me not to go, and by the grace of God, I had an amazing time. It was another reminder that anxiety doesn’t have to dictate what I do, especially when I choose to trust Jesus and take the next step with Him.

But if I’m honest, the days since then have looked very different.

Rather than feeling full of energy after such a positive experience, I have found myself feeling extremely mentally burnt out this entire week. My mind has felt tired, my motivation has been low, and even ordinary things have seemed to require more effort than usual.

I think sometimes we can experience a victory and expect ourselves to simply carry on as though nothing happened. We overcome something difficult, celebrate the fact that we got through it, and then assume we should immediately be ready for the next challenge. But the reality is that even good experiences can leave us exhausted, especially when we have spent so much time fighting against fear and anxiety.

And perhaps that is part of what God has been teaching me this week.

Last week, I wrote about choosing Jesus over fear. I learned that faith doesn’t always mean the fear disappears; sometimes it means taking the next step with Jesus even while we are still afraid.

This week, I have had to apply that same lesson in a slightly different way.

Instead of choosing Jesus over fear, I have had to learn to lean on Jesus in my weakness and exhaustion.

Learning to Lean on Jesus in My Weakness

There have been moments this week when I haven’t felt strong at all. But thankfully, my relationship with Jesus isn’t dependent on how strong I feel.

He doesn’t ask me to have everything together before I come to Him. He meets me in the tiredness, the frustration and the moments when I simply don’t have much left to give.

Sometimes I think we can mistakenly believe that depending on God means always feeling strong, positive and spiritually motivated. But Scripture gives us a very different picture. We are not called to pretend that we have endless strength. We are called to recognise our dependence on the One who does.

Jesus Himself says:

“Come to me, all who labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”
(Matthew 11:28)

That verse has felt particularly meaningful this week.

I’ve had to remind myself that resting and relying on God isn’t failure. Sometimes the most faithful thing I can do is admit that I am struggling and place it into His hands.

Last week, God showed me that I could step forward despite my fear. This week, He has reminded me that when I become weary after taking those steps, I don’t have to keep walking in my own strength.

I can lean on Him.

“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”
(Psalm 73:26)

And perhaps that is the lesson I needed most this week: Jesus isn’t only with me when I am strong. He is with me when I am weak.

With that in mind, my study of John 17 felt particularly timely.

Bible Passage of the Week

This week, I studied John 17:1–26 as part of Study 4 in the Good Book Guide: John 13–21. John 17 is often referred to as Jesus’ “High Priestly Prayer,” and reading it this week felt particularly meaningful given the season I have been walking through.

What stood out to me most was seeing Jesus pray.

Just before His arrest and crucifixion, Jesus knew exactly what was ahead of Him. Yet rather than turning away from the Father, He turned towards Him in prayer.

He prayed for Himself, for His disciples, and for everyone who would eventually believe in Him through their message.

There is something incredibly comforting about that.

Jesus knew what was coming. He knew His disciples would struggle. He knew they would face opposition and suffering. And yet, He entrusted everything to the Father.

That immediately made me think about my own struggles.

When I am anxious, exhausted or uncertain about what lies ahead, my instinct can sometimes be to focus entirely on the problem in front of me. But John 17 redirects my attention towards Jesus and His relationship with the Father.

If Jesus responded to what lay ahead by praying, how much more should I learn to bring my own struggles before God?

What I Learned This Week

Sometimes the weeks where we feel like we are doing the least can actually be the weeks where God is teaching us the most.

This week hasn’t been about big achievements or exciting moments. Instead, it has been a quieter and more difficult week of feeling mentally burnt out and learning to rely on the Lord when I haven’t had much energy of my own.

Looking back, I think there is a connection between what God taught me last week and what He has been teaching me this week.

Last week, I learned that faith can mean taking a step forward even when anxiety tells me to stay where I am.

This week, I’ve learned that taking that step doesn’t mean I will always feel strong afterwards.

Sometimes following Jesus means moving forward.

Sometimes it means resting.

And sometimes it means admitting that I don’t have the strength to do either without Him.

That isn’t failure.

That is dependence.

Jesus never promised that following Him would mean an easy life. But He did promise that He would be with His people.

And perhaps that is what I most needed to remember this week.

I don’t have to be strong all the time.

I don’t have to have everything figured out.

I don’t have to hide my exhaustion from God.

I can bring all of it to Jesus.

John 17:1-19 – In the World But Not of It

As the prayer begins, Jesus looks towards heaven and prays to the Father. He asks that the Son would be glorified so that the Son may glorify the Father.

Jesus’ understanding of glory is very different from the world’s understanding of it. His glory would ultimately be displayed through sacrifice, obedience and the cross.

He also gives us a beautiful definition of eternal life:

“And this is eternal life, that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent.”
(John 17:3)

Eternal life isn’t simply something that begins after we die. Through Jesus, we can know God now.

That is something I don’t want to lose sight of.

Christianity isn’t simply about following a set of rules or trying to become a better version of myself. It is about knowing Jesus, belonging to Him and living in relationship with Him.

Jesus then turns His attention towards His disciples.

He knows they are going to face difficulties, opposition and suffering. Yet He doesn’t pray that the Father would simply remove them from the world.

Instead, He prays:

“I do not ask that you take them out of the world, but that you keep them from the evil one.”
(John 17:15)

That verse connects directly with the theme that has been on my heart this week: being in the world but not of it.

Following Jesus doesn’t mean escaping from every difficult situation. It doesn’t mean that anxiety, temptation, suffering or exhaustion will automatically disappear.

Sometimes God doesn’t immediately remove the struggle.

Sometimes He sustains us through it.

Jesus continues by praying:

“Sanctify them in the truth; your word is truth.”
(John 17:17)

That reminds me that God’s Word isn’t simply something I read when life is going well. His truth is something I need when my mind is tired, when my emotions are all over the place and when I don’t know what to do next.

After the excitement of the Bon Jovi concert, I have felt mentally exhausted and burnt out. There have been moments when I have wanted that feeling to simply disappear.

But John 17 has reminded me that I can bring my weakness to God and trust Him to sustain me.

I don’t have to escape every difficult season.

I can walk through it with Jesus.

John 17:20-26 – Jesus Prays for His People

Jesus’ prayer doesn’t stop with the disciples who were physically standing before Him.

He goes on to pray for all future believers – including those who would believe through the message of His disciples.

That means, in a very real sense, Jesus was praying for believers like me.

He prays that His followers would be one and that they would experience the love of God.

This unity isn’t about pretending that Christians have no differences. Rather, it is about believers being united in Christ and displaying something of the relationship between the Father and the Son.

Jesus says:

“I do not ask for these only, but also for those who will believe in me through their word.”
(John 17:20)

I find that incredibly encouraging.

Jesus knew His followers would face suffering, temptation, opposition and weakness. He knew the road ahead wouldn’t be easy. Yet He still prayed for them.

And He still cares for His people today.

As I have struggled with burnout this week, it has been reassuring to remember that I am not walking through life alone. I can pray to God, but even more wonderfully, I have a Saviour who intercedes for His people.

My strength doesn’t ultimately come from how well I am coping or how much energy I have.

My hope rests in Christ.

How This Applies to My Life

As I reflected on John 17 this week, I found myself thinking about just how much this prayer speaks into my own story.

The theme of being “in the world but not of it” is something I am increasingly learning to understand in my own walk with Jesus.

For so many years, I looked to the world to tell me who I was. I tried to find my identity, belonging and purpose in my sexuality, relationships, alcohol, friendships and the life I was building for myself.

But the more I searched for those things apart from God, the more lost and empty I became.

Coming to Christ changed the foundation on which I build my identity.

I am still the same person with many of the same struggles, including experiencing same-sex attraction, but I no longer believe those things have to define who I am.

My deepest identity is found in belonging to Jesus.

My attractions are part of my experience, but they are not the foundation of my identity.

Christ is.

That makes Jesus’ prayer in John 17:15 particularly powerful to me. He doesn’t ask the Father to take His followers out of the world. He asks that they would be protected from the evil one.

There is something important in that.

Following Jesus doesn’t mean escaping from the world or pretending that struggles don’t exist. It means remaining in the world while belonging to Christ and allowing Him to shape the way I live within it.

That is something I am still learning.

For years, I ran away from difficult things. Alcohol became a way of escaping the battles going on inside my head rather than facing them.

When I became sober and surrendered my life to Christ, I could no longer numb everything I was feeling.

I had to start bringing those things before God instead.

And that has been especially relevant this week.

After the victory of going to the Bon Jovi concert last Friday, I have felt mentally exhausted and burnt out. My instinct can sometimes be to look for something that will make uncomfortable feelings disappear.

But Jesus is teaching me that I don’t need to escape every difficult season.

I can bring my weakness to Him and trust that He will sustain me.

Paul writes:

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
(2 Corinthians 12:9)

That is such a different way of looking at weakness.

The world often tells us that weakness is something to hide.

Jesus teaches me that weakness can become an opportunity to depend more fully upon Him.

I Don’t Have to Walk Alone

John 17 also reminds me that I am not called to walk the Christian life alone.

Jesus prayed for the unity of His followers, and that challenges me to recognise how important Christian community is.

I know what it feels like to feel caught between different worlds—to have parts of my story that some people may not understand and to wrestle with questions that don’t always have easy answers.

Yet Jesus’ desire is that His people would be united in Him.

That gives me hope.

My story doesn’t have to isolate me from God’s people. In fact, perhaps God can use the very things I once thought made me different to help me understand the importance of genuine Christian friendship, honesty, grace and community.

I don’t need to have everything figured out before I belong among God’s people.

I belong because I belong to Christ.

My Confidence Is in Jesus

Most importantly, John 17 reminds me that my confidence isn’t ultimately in myself.

Jesus was praying for His people knowing exactly what they would face. He knew there would be suffering, temptation, opposition and weakness, yet He entrusted them to the Father.

That includes me.

I don’t know what the rest of my journey will look like. I don’t know whether every struggle will disappear or when every prayer will be answered.

But I know that Jesus is faithful.

The same Christ who found me when I was lost and broken is the Christ who continues to hold me now.

I am learning that being a Christian isn’t about finally reaching a point where I no longer struggle.

It is about continually bringing those struggles to Jesus and allowing Him to transform me through them.

I spent years trying to find myself.

Now I am learning that I don’t need to find myself—I need to keep finding Jesus.

And perhaps that is one of the greatest ways John 17 applies to my life right now:

I am in this world, but I don’t belong to it.

My identity is found in Christ.

My hope is found in Christ.

My purpose is found in Christ.

And ultimately, my future is found in Christ.

Looking Ahead

As I look ahead to another week, I want to carry the lessons from John 17 with me.

This week has reminded me that I am not meant to live the Christian life in my own strength. I have felt mentally burnt out and exhausted, but God has been faithful through it all.

He hasn’t asked me to pretend that I am okay or to somehow manufacture strength that I don’t have.

Instead, He has invited me to come to Him, rest in Him and trust Him.

So rather than setting myself a long list of things I need to accomplish this week, I want to focus on staying close to Jesus.

I want to make prayer a priority, even on the days when I don’t feel like praying. I want to remain rooted in God’s Word and allow His truth to shape the way I think. And when anxiety, tiredness or temptation comes, I want to remember that I don’t have to face it alone.

Jesus prayed that His followers would be protected, sanctified in the truth and filled with His joy.

Those are things I want to pursue – not by trying harder in my own strength, but by depending more fully on Him.

I also want to remember that being “in the world but not of it” means that I don’t need to fit into the world’s definition of who I should be.

My identity is found in Christ.

My worth is found in Christ.

My hope is found in Christ.

And when I feel weak, I can still trust Christ.

So my goal for the coming week is quite simple:

Stay close to Jesus and take the next step He puts in front of me.

I don’t know what the week will bring. There may be good days, difficult days, moments of anxiety and moments of peace.

But I know that whatever comes, Jesus is with me.

And after everything He has taught me this week, I think that’s more than enough.

“And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”
(Matthew 28:20)

Whatever comes next, I don’t have to face it alone.

Jesus is with me.