This week has been another relatively quiet one. There haven’t been many big moments or anything particularly dramatic to write about, but one day in particular reminded me of something God has been teaching me lately: sometimes faith is simply choosing to take the next step, even when fear tells you to stay where you are.

I went away to Glasgow for the day to meet up with some friends from when I lived in Edinburgh. If I’m honest, my anxious thoughts gave me plenty of reasons not to go. My mind started imagining everything that could go wrong, and there was a part of me that wanted to listen to those thoughts and stay where I felt comfortable.

But I went anyway.

Looking back, I’m grateful that I did. It wasn’t about suddenly feeling completely free from anxiety or having every anxious thought disappear. It was about choosing not to let those thoughts control my decisions. Sometimes faith looks less like feeling fearless and more like taking the next step while still feeling afraid, trusting God with whatever comes next.

That connects closely with what I learned last week from John 13. As I reflected on Jesus’ humility, surrender and willingness to follow the Father’s will even when He knew suffering was ahead, I was reminded that following Jesus means learning to surrender my own desire for control. I don’t always need to understand what will happen before I take the next step, and I don’t always need to feel ready before I trust God.

My week, otherwise, has been quiet. But perhaps that is exactly where some of these lessons have become most real. In the ordinary moments, I’m learning that surrender isn’t just something I talk about in prayer. Sometimes it looks like getting on a train, meeting a friend, stepping outside my comfort zone and trusting Jesus with the thoughts that tell me I should turn back.

I’m still learning. But little by little, I’m beginning to see that following Jesus doesn’t mean waiting until I feel completely unafraid. It means learning to trust Him enough to keep walking, even when fear comes along for the journey.

And that lesson of trusting Jesus in the middle of uncertainty became even clearer as I continued into John 14 this week.

Bible Passage of the Week: John 14:1-31

This week, I continued working through the Good Book Guide series on John 13-21, moving into Study 2, which looks at John 14:1-31. This passage comes at a deeply significant moment in Jesus’ ministry. He knows His disciples are about to face uncertainty, confusion and grief, yet instead of leaving them without hope, Jesus speaks words of comfort and reassurance:

“Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me.”
(John 14:1)

These words are especially meaningful when we remember what the disciples had just heard. Jesus had told them that He was going away. They didn’t fully understand what was about to happen, but Jesus knew exactly what lay ahead. His response to their troubled hearts wasn’t to give them every detail of the future. He called them to trust Him.

That challenged me this week because I often want certainty before I’m willing to trust. When I feel anxious about the future, I can become focused on trying to work everything out. I want to know what is going to happen, how things will turn out and whether I’ll be okay.

But Jesus doesn’t give His disciples a detailed explanation of everything that is coming. He gives them Himself.

That becomes even clearer in one of the most well-known statements in John’s Gospel:

“I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”
(John 14:6)

Jesus doesn’t simply give us directions for how to navigate life. He is the way. He doesn’t merely tell us what is true. He is the truth. He doesn’t simply offer us a better way of living. He is the life.

When I don’t know what the future holds, I don’t need to have every answer when I know the One who does.

Jesus also promises His disciples that they will not be left alone. He tells them that the Father will give them “another Helper,” the Holy Spirit, who will be with them forever (John 14:16–17). Later, Jesus says:

“I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.”
(John 14:18)

That is such a comforting truth. Following Jesus doesn’t mean that I will never feel afraid, confused or uncertain. It means I never have to face those things alone.

The Holy Spirit is not an abstract idea or distant theological concept. He is God’s presence with His people, reminding us of Jesus’ words and helping us live in obedience to Him.

Jesus goes on to connect love with obedience, saying:

“If you love me, you will keep my commandments.”
(John 14:15)

Obedience, then, isn’t about earning Jesus’ love. It is a response to already being loved by Him. The Christian life is not simply about knowing what Jesus has commanded; it is about loving Him enough to trust Him and follow Him.

And in the middle of all of this, Jesus gives His disciples another promise:

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you.”
(John 14:27)

That kind of peace doesn’t depend on circumstances being easy. Jesus spoke these words knowing the suffering, betrayal and death that were about to take place. His peace was not based on everything going according to plan.

It was rooted in the Father.

That reminded me that peace isn’t found in having a life where nothing goes wrong. True peace is found in knowing Jesus in the middle of whatever goes wrong.

As I continue learning to surrender my anxious thoughts and trust God with what I cannot control, John 14 reminds me to look away from my fears and back towards Christ.

He is the way.
He is the truth.
He is the life.

And ultimately, He is enough.

What I Learned This Week

As I’ve reflected on this week, I’ve realised that God doesn’t only teach me through big moments or difficult seasons. Sometimes, the lessons are found in the quieter and more ordinary days.

Between spending time with friends, navigating anxious thoughts and continuing through John 14, I’ve been reminded that trusting Jesus isn’t something reserved for the biggest moments of life. It is something I need to practise in the ordinary moments too.

Here are some of the things God has been teaching me this week.

1. Jesus Calls Me to Trust Him When I Don’t Understand

John 14 begins with Jesus telling His disciples not to let their hearts be troubled. That doesn’t mean they had no reason to feel troubled. Their circumstances were genuinely difficult.

Jesus knew they were going to experience grief, confusion and uncertainty.

Yet He called them to believe.

That has challenged me because anxiety often makes me believe that I need to understand everything before I can move forward. I want to know what is coming before I take the next step. But faith doesn’t always work that way.

“For we walk by faith, not by sight.”
(2 Corinthians 5:7)

Going to Glasgow this week was a small example of that for me. I didn’t suddenly stop feeling anxious. I simply chose not to allow anxiety to make the decision for me.

Sometimes trusting God means taking the next step without knowing exactly where it will lead.

And when I don’t know the way forward, I can remember that Jesus is the way.

2. My Peace Is Found in Christ, Not in Control

One of the things anxiety has taught me is how desperately I want control.

If I can predict what might happen, avoid uncomfortable situations and prepare myself for every possible outcome, maybe I can prevent myself from getting hurt.

But John 14 reminds me that peace doesn’t come from controlling my circumstances. It comes from knowing Christ.

Jesus says:

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you.”
(John 14:27)

That peace is very different from the temporary relief I might find through avoidance, distraction or escape.

It is a peace that comes from knowing that Jesus is still with me when my circumstances are uncertain.

I don’t have to manufacture that peace myself. I can receive it from Him.

3. Following Jesus Means Learning to Surrender

Last week, John 13 challenged me to think about Jesus’ humility and surrender. This week, John 14 continued that lesson by showing me what it looks like to trust Jesus when I cannot see the whole picture.

I’m beginning to understand that surrender isn’t a one-time decision.

It is something I have to practise.

I surrender when I pray instead of spiralling. I surrender when I choose obedience even when it is difficult. I surrender when I stop trying to control every possible outcome and trust that God knows what He is doing.

Proverbs 3:5-6 says:

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”

I don’t think that means I will always understand God’s plans. It means I can trust Him even when I don’t.

4. I Have Not Been Left Alone

Another truth that stood out to me in John 14 was Jesus’ promise of the Holy Spirit.

“And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever.”
(John 14:16)

There have been times in my life when loneliness and uncertainty have made me feel like I have to carry everything myself. But Jesus tells His followers that they have not been abandoned.

God has given His Spirit.

That means that even when I feel alone, I am not actually alone.

The Christian life isn’t something I’m expected to figure out and accomplish through my own strength. God Himself is at work in me, helping me to understand His Word, reminding me of Jesus’ teaching and enabling me to follow Him.

That gives me hope because I know I’m still growing. I don’t have to pretend that I have everything figured out.

I simply need to keep looking to Jesus.

How This Applies to Me

These truths from John 14 have felt particularly personal because they have made me reflect on how much my understanding of peace, identity and security has changed since coming to Christ.

When I look back at the person I was before Jesus, I can see how often I tried to find those things in places that could never truly satisfy me. Alcohol became a way of escaping what I didn’t want to feel, while my sexuality became something I wrestled with as I tried to understand who I was and where I belonged.

I was searching for answers, comfort and identity, but I was looking in the wrong places.

That is why Jesus’ words in John 14:1 have felt particularly significant to me this week:

“Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me.”

Jesus doesn’t promise that my life will never be difficult or that I will never experience anxiety, loneliness, temptation or uncertainty. Instead, He calls me to place my troubled heart in His hands.

That is something I am still learning to do.

My testimony is not the story of someone who suddenly had everything figured out when he became a Christian. It is the story of someone who was lost and broken and discovered that Jesus was willing to meet me there.

And He didn’t simply meet me there to leave me as I was. He began changing where I looked for life.

Jesus says, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life” (John 14:6). That has completely changed how I think about identity.

I used to believe I needed to work out who I was before I could have any sense of peace. Now, I’m learning that my deepest identity isn’t found in my sexuality, my past mistakes, my sobriety, my struggles or even my successes.

It is found in Christ.

Being same-sex attracted is something I experience, but it doesn’t get to define who I am. Jesus does.

That doesn’t mean every question has been answered or every struggle has disappeared. It means I no longer have to build my identity around those things.

Paul writes:

“For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.”
(Colossians 3:3)

That truth gives me a completely different foundation. My circumstances can change. My feelings can change. My struggles can change. But Christ remains.

This also connects deeply with my journey of sobriety. Before Christ, alcohol became a way of numbing and escaping. But surrendering my life to Jesus has taught me something very different: I don’t need to run from difficult emotions because I can bring them to Him.

There are still days when anxiety is loud and days when I would rather escape than sit with what I’m feeling. But John 14 reminds me that Jesus offers something far better than temporary relief.

He offers His peace.

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you.”
(John 14:27)

That verse doesn’t mean I will always feel peaceful. I know that from experience.

But it reminds me that peace is ultimately not a feeling I have to manufacture for myself. It is a gift from Christ.

When my mind is racing, when I’m tempted to retreat into fear, or when I don’t understand what God is doing, I can return to Him.

Perhaps that is one of the biggest ways John 14 applies to my life right now.

Jesus never told His disciples that following Him would mean they would never face uncertainty. He told them not to let their hearts be troubled because He was going to prepare a place for them, and He promised that they would not be left as orphans.

I need to remember that in my own journey.

I don’t know exactly what my future will look like. I don’t know what God will do with every struggle I carry or how every unanswered question will eventually be resolved.

But I do know Jesus.

And ultimately, that is enough.

I’m learning that following Christ isn’t about finally reaching a point where I no longer struggle. It is about learning where to take those struggles when they come.

Instead of reaching for alcohol, I can reach for Jesus.

Instead of allowing my sexuality to define me, I can remember that my identity is in Christ.

Instead of allowing anxiety to dictate my decisions, I can bring my troubled heart to the One who tells me, “Believe in me.”

The more I learn about Jesus, the more I realise that He isn’t simply an answer to one part of my life. He is the foundation for all of it.

Jesus is the way, the truth and the life.

And after everything I have searched for in the past, I am slowly learning that I don’t need to keep searching for somewhere else to belong.

I belong to Him.

Looking Ahead

As I look ahead to another week, I want to take what I’ve learned from John 14 and actually put it into practice. It is easy to read about trusting Jesus, surrendering my anxious thoughts and finding my identity in Him, but I want those truths to become more than words on a page.

One practical goal I have for this week is to be more intentional about where I take my anxious thoughts. When anxiety tells me to retreat, avoid something or assume the worst, I want to pause before reacting and bring those thoughts to Jesus in prayer.

Instead of immediately allowing fear to make the decision for me, I want to ask:

What would it look like to trust Jesus in this moment?

Sometimes that might mean taking a step outside my comfort zone. Sometimes it might mean resting instead of striving. Sometimes it might simply mean sitting quietly before God and admitting that I’m struggling.

Whatever it looks like, I want to keep bringing my heart to Christ.

I also want to continue reminding myself that my identity is found in Him. When I’m tempted to define myself by my past, my struggles, my sexuality or my circumstances, I want to return to the truth of John 14:6:

“I am the way, and the truth, and the life.”

My circumstances may change, and my feelings may change, but Jesus does not.

Finally, I want to be more intentional about seeking His peace rather than trying to create my own. That means spending time in Scripture, praying honestly, listening for His voice through His Word and remembering that I have not been left alone. The Holy Spirit is with me, guiding me and reminding me of Jesus’ words.

I don’t know what this next week will bring. It may be quiet, difficult, encouraging, or a mixture of all three.

But perhaps I don’t need to know.

My goal isn’t to control what happens. It is to keep bringing my heart back to Jesus and trusting Him with whatever comes.

I may not know the way ahead.

But I know the One who is the way.

I may not always know what is true about my circumstances.

But I know the One who is the truth.

And I may not know what tomorrow holds.

But I know the One who holds my life.

Jesus is the way, the truth and the life.

And I want to keep learning what it means to follow Him, one step at a time.