This week has been a good one, even though anxiety has still been a familiar companion. There have been moments when my mind has wanted to race ahead with questions, fears, and worries about things I cannot control. Yet, instead of allowing those thoughts to become louder than the truth, I have been learning to return to the voice of the Good Shepherd.

Spending time in God’s Word and bringing my anxieties to Him in prayer has reminded me that my peace doesn’t ultimately depend on my circumstances changing. It comes from knowing Jesus is with me in the middle of them. As Philippians 4:6–7 reminds us, we are called to bring everything to God in prayer, trusting that His peace can guard our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

One of the highlights of this week was enjoying a lovely lunch with one of my closest friends. It was a simple but meaningful reminder that God often cares for us through the people He places around us. Sometimes His provision doesn’t come through a dramatic miracle; sometimes it comes through a conversation, a friendship, a shared meal, or simply knowing that we aren’t walking through life alone.

That has been particularly meaningful as I continue reflecting on Jesus as the Good Shepherd. Following His voice doesn’t mean I will never experience anxiety, uncertainty, or difficult seasons. It means I don’t have to face them alone. I have a Shepherd who knows me, loves me, and faithfully leads me.

And that is exactly what stood out to me in this week’s study of John’s Gospel.

Bible Passage of the Week

This week’s Bible study took me through John 11:1–12:50, and it has been one of the most challenging and encouraging sections of John’s Gospel so far. These chapters reveal Jesus in His absolute authority and glory, but they also show His compassion, humility, and unwavering commitment to the Father’s will.

The raising of Lazarus brings us to one of the clearest declarations of who Jesus is:

“I am the resurrection and the life.”
(John 11:25)

Jesus doesn’t simply give resurrection. He is the resurrection. He doesn’t merely offer life. He is the life.

Even when Jesus’ timing didn’t make sense to Martha and Mary, He was never absent or indifferent. His delay was purposeful, ultimately revealing God’s glory and demonstrating His authority over death. Their grief was real, but so was Christ’s power.

That reminded me that faith doesn’t mean pretending we aren’t hurting or confused. It means bringing those things honestly to Jesus while continuing to trust Him when we cannot yet see what He is doing.

The passage then moves from the tomb of Lazarus to an intimate dinner in Bethany, where Mary pours expensive perfume over Jesus’ feet. Her extravagant act of worship demonstrates the value she placed on Christ. She wasn’t calculating what she could afford to give Him. She simply recognised that Jesus was worth everything.

Her example challenged me to consider what wholehearted worship really looks like in my own life.

Then, as Jesus enters Jerusalem, we see another side of His mission. The crowds welcome Him as King, but Jesus knows that the cross is waiting for Him. He doesn’t run from it. He willingly walks towards it.

The King comes not riding in earthly triumph but in humility, fulfilling the Scriptures and willingly giving Himself for sinners.

Reading these chapters has reminded me that following Jesus means trusting His purposes even when I don’t understand them, worshipping Him even when surrender is costly, and believing that He remains worthy of my faith even when life feels uncertain.

What I Learned This Week

John 11:1-12:11 – Jesus Is the Resurrection and the Life

The story of Lazarus in John 11 reveals something extraordinary about the authority of Jesus. Lazarus is seriously ill, yet when Jesus hears the news, He deliberately remains where He is for two more days.

At first glance, this can feel confusing.

If Jesus loved Lazarus, why didn’t He immediately go to him?

But the delay wasn’t evidence of indifference. Jesus knew exactly what He was doing. His timing was connected to a greater purpose: the glory of God and the strengthening of faith in those who witnessed what He was about to do.

When Jesus finally arrives, Lazarus has already been in the tomb for four days. Humanly speaking, the situation appears completely beyond hope.

But Jesus isn’t limited by what looks impossible to us.

He tells Martha:

“I am the resurrection and the life.”
(John 11:25)

Notice that Jesus doesn’t merely say that He will one day bring resurrection. He points Martha towards Himself.

Jesus is life.

He then approaches the tomb and commands Lazarus to come out. The man who had been dead walks out alive.

This is more than an incredible miracle. It is a sign pointing towards the greater reality of who Jesus is and what He came to accomplish. The One who has authority to call Lazarus from physical death is the same Jesus who offers eternal life to everyone who believes in Him.

Yet the response of the religious authorities is tragically different. Instead of responding to this miracle with faith, they become increasingly concerned about their own position and influence. They begin plotting not only to kill Jesus but also Lazarus because his very existence was evidence of Christ’s power.

What a contrast.

Lazarus comes out of the tomb because Jesus calls him.

The religious leaders see the same evidence and become more determined to reject Him.

That contrast challenged me to consider how I respond when Jesus reveals Himself to me. Am I willing to surrender to Him, or do I sometimes allow my own fears, plans, comfort, or pride to compete with His authority?

The story then moves from a tomb to a dinner table.

In John 12, Mary takes expensive nard, anoints Jesus’ feet, and wipes them with her hair. It is an extravagant and deeply personal act of worship.

Judas objects, pretending concern for the poor, but John reveals that his motivation was greed. Jesus, however, defends Mary and recognises the significance of what she has done.

Mary understood something that others were missing.

Jesus was worth everything.

Her worship was costly, but it wasn’t wasteful. She was responding to the worth of Christ.

And as I reflected on that, I couldn’t help but ask myself whether I truly believe the same thing.

Do I see Jesus as worthy of everything I have?

My time?

My plans?

My comfort?

My future?

My desires?

My fears?

Following Jesus will sometimes require costly surrender. But when we see the worth of Christ clearly, surrender begins to look less like losing something and more like giving everything to the One who is infinitely more valuable.

As Jesus Himself says in Matthew 16:26:

“For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul?”

Mary’s worship therefore prepares us for what comes next. Jesus is moving towards Jerusalem, towards suffering, towards the cross, and ultimately towards the victory He came to accomplish.

John 12:12-50 – The King Who Came to Give His Life

John 12 marks a significant turning point in the Gospel. Jesus enters Jerusalem during what we now call Palm Sunday, and the crowds greet Him with cries of “Hosanna!”

They recognise Him as King, but many still misunderstand what kind of King He is.

Jesus enters Jerusalem riding on a donkey’s colt. He doesn’t arrive like a military conqueror. He doesn’t come surrounded by earthly power or political authority.

He comes in humility.

And yet, this humble King is about to accomplish something far greater than any earthly ruler ever could.

Jesus knows that His “hour” has come.

He knows the cross is ahead.

And rather than turning away from suffering, He willingly embraces it.

Jesus explains what is about to happen using the image of a grain of wheat:

“Unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.”
(John 12:24)

The cross may look like defeat from a human perspective, but Jesus knows that it will be the place where God’s salvation is accomplished.

His death will produce life.

His suffering will bring salvation.

His sacrifice will open the way for sinners to be reconciled to God.

This is the heart of the Gospel.

Jesus wasn’t trapped by circumstances. He wasn’t a victim of events that spiralled beyond His control. He willingly laid down His life.

As He says in John 10:18:

“No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord.”

That makes the cross even more powerful.

Jesus chose it.

He chose obedience.

He chose suffering.

He chose to give Himself for sinners.

And He did it because of His love for us and His perfect obedience to the Father.

John 12 also exposes the tragedy of spiritual blindness. Some people saw Jesus’ signs and still refused to believe. Others believed but were afraid to openly confess Him because they valued human approval more than God’s approval.

That challenged me too.

It is possible to know about Jesus without fully surrendering to Jesus.

It is possible to care more about what people think than what Christ says.

But Jesus calls us out of darkness and into His light.

He says:

“I have come into the world as light, so that whoever believes in me may not remain in darkness.”
(John 12:46)

The question isn’t simply whether I believe Jesus exists.

The question is whether I will follow Him.

How This Applies to Me

These passages didn’t feel like distant Bible stories to me. As I reflected on them, I could see so much of my own story within them.

Before I knew Christ, I was spiritually dead. I spent years searching for purpose, identity, and satisfaction in places that could never ultimately give me life. Alcohol became one of the ways I tried to escape the emptiness and silence the struggles within me.

But drinking couldn’t heal what was broken inside me.

It could only numb it temporarily.

Jesus offered something completely different.

He didn’t simply offer me another temporary escape. He offered me life.

So when I read Jesus saying, “I am the resurrection and the life,” I am reminded that the greatest miracle in my story isn’t simply that I have been able to remain sober.

It is that Jesus brought me from spiritual death to life.

Sobriety is an important part of my story, but Christ is at the centre of it.

He is the One who saved me.

He is the One who continues to transform me.

And He is the One who gives me the strength to keep walking forward.

Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 5:17:

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.”

That is what I want my life to continually point back towards.

Not what I have achieved.

Not how strong I am.

Not how well I am doing.

Jesus.

Because everything good in me is ultimately the result of His grace.

Jesus’ delay before raising Lazarus also spoke deeply into my current season. There are still prayers that seem unanswered and questions I wish God would resolve more quickly. There are things about the future that I don’t understand, and there are moments when anxiety makes me want immediate answers.

But John 11 reminds me that God’s silence is not the same as God’s absence.

His timing is not careless.

His delays are not wasted.

He sees the whole picture when I can only see a tiny part of it.

Isaiah 55:8–9 reminds us that God’s thoughts and ways are higher than ours. That can be difficult to accept when we desperately want answers, but it is also deeply comforting.

I don’t need to understand everything God is doing in order to trust Him.

I simply need to remember who He is.

And the same is true when anxiety begins to take over.

I may not be able to control every thought that enters my mind. I may not know how every situation will unfold. But I can bring those fears to Jesus.

I can pray.

I can open His Word.

I can remind myself of what is true.

And I can choose to trust the Shepherd even when I cannot see where He is leading me.

Mary’s extravagant worship challenged me in another way.

She gave Jesus something incredibly valuable because she recognised that He was infinitely more valuable still.

Following Christ has required me to surrender things that once felt central to my identity and my plans for life. Choosing sobriety, pursuing holiness, and entrusting my desires and future to Christ has come at a cost.

But when I compare those sacrifices with the privilege of knowing Jesus, they don’t look like losses.

They look like surrender to the One who gave everything for me.

Paul writes in Philippians 3:8:

“Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.”

That is becoming increasingly true in my own life.

Jesus isn’t asking me to give up things because He wants to make my life smaller.

He is teaching me that He is better.

Better than the things I once used to fill the emptiness.

Better than temporary comfort.

Better than living according to my own plans.

Better than anything this world could offer me.

Finally, Jesus’ words about the grain of wheat reminded me that the Christian life is one of daily surrender.

Following Christ isn’t a one-time decision where I surrender my life and then take control again the following morning.

It is something I have to keep choosing.

Every day, I have a choice: will I cling to my own way, or will I trust the One who gave His life for me?

That surrender isn’t always easy.

But I have discovered that true freedom doesn’t come from protecting my life at all costs. It comes from placing my life into Christ’s hands.

Jesus says in John 12:25:

“Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.

The more I follow Jesus, the more I understand that surrender isn’t the opposite of freedom.

Surrender to Christ is where true freedom begins.

When I place my fears, desires, plans, identity, and future into His hands, I am not losing my life.

I am trusting the One who knows exactly what to do with it.

Looking Ahead

As I look towards the coming week, I want to keep learning what it means to trust God’s timing rather than my own.

It is easy for me to become impatient when anxiety creeps in or when I cannot see how certain situations will work out. My mind wants answers immediately. It wants certainty. It wants to know what happens next.

But John 11 reminds me that Jesus is never late.

He sees what I cannot see.

He knows what I do not know.

And even when I cannot understand His timing, I can trust His character.

My practical goal for this coming week is simple: to begin each morning with Jesus before allowing the worries of the day to take over.

I want to spend intentional time in prayer and God’s Word, bringing my fears to Him rather than carrying them alone. I want to start my day listening to the Shepherd’s voice before the noise of anxiety has an opportunity to become overwhelming.

Psalm 143:8 says:

“Let me hear in the morning of your steadfast love, for in you I trust.”

That is the posture I want to have.

Not a life where I never feel anxious.

Not a life where every question has an immediate answer.

But a life that keeps turning back towards Jesus.

More than anything, I want to keep surrendering my plans, fears, desires, and future to the Lord. I don’t know what this next week will bring, but I know the One who holds it.

Jesus is the resurrection and the life.

He is the Good Shepherd who leads His sheep.

He is the King who willingly went to the cross.

He is the Saviour who gave His life so that I could have life.

And He is still worthy of my trust.

So this week, my prayer is simple:

Jesus, help me trust You when I cannot see what You are doing. Help me hear Your voice above the noise of my fears. Help me surrender what I cannot control and worship You with everything I have. And wherever You lead me, help me follow.

Because I may not know what tomorrow holds.

But I know who holds tomorrow.

And that is enough.