Opening Reflection

As I sit down to reflect on this past week, I find myself feeling grateful, challenged, and hopeful all at once. This week marked the beginning of something new as I launched this blog-a step I had been thinking and praying about for some time. Starting it brought a mixture of excitement and nerves. Part of me was eager to share what God is doing in my life, while another part wondered whether I was ready to be so open about my faith, sobriety journey, and life as a Christian who experiences same-sex attraction. Yet through those nerves, I sensed God gently reminding me that faith often begins with taking a step before we can see the whole path.

Overall, the week has been one of learning and growth. There were victories worth celebrating, moments where I saw God’s grace at work in ways I might have overlooked before. There were also struggles and temptations that reminded me how much I still need to depend on Him daily. Perhaps the biggest surprise was how often God met me in the ordinary moments-in prayer, in Scripture, and even through difficult situations that tested my patience and trust. I am learning that spiritual growth isn’t always dramatic; sometimes it looks like choosing faithfulness one small step at a time.

My sobriety journey and my faith felt deeply connected this week. Sobriety is teaching me to be honest about my weaknesses, while faith is teaching me where to take them. As I spent time praying, reading Scripture, and reflecting on where God has brought me, I was reminded that I am not walking this journey alone. I’m beginning to understand that recovery isn’t just about what I’m leaving behind-it’s also about what God is building within me. Each day of sobriety becomes another opportunity to trust Him, rely on His strength rather than my own, and experience His grace in a deeper way. The longer I walk with Christ, the more I see that both faith and sobriety are journeys of daily surrender, dependence, and growth.

Looking back, I can see that the thread running through every part of this week was Jesus Himself. Whether in moments of joy, temptation, uncertainty, or growth, He continually reminded me that He is both the source of my strength and the object of my faith. That became even clearer as I spent time studying the opening chapters of John’s Gospel.

Bible Passage of the Week

This week’s Bible passage was John 1:1-2:12, which I encountered as I began working through the Gospel of John in The Good Book Company’s Good Book Guides series. I chose this passage because it marks the start of both John’s Gospel and my new study plan, making it a fitting place to begin. As someone who is relatively new to the Christian faith, I wanted to spend time building a stronger foundation in who Jesus is and what He came to do.

What stood out to me the most was John’s opening description of Jesus as the eternal Word. John writes:

“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.” (John 1:1)

These opening words remind us that Jesus is not merely part of God’s story-He is at the very centre of it. Before creation existed, Christ existed.

I was also struck by the invitation to become children of God through believing in Him:

“Yet to all who did receive Him, to those who believed in His name, He gave the right to become children of God.” (John 1:12)

Finally, the account of Jesus turning water into wine at Cana-His first recorded sign in John’s Gospel-revealed both His power and His compassion. Together, these passages reveal both the majesty and the nearness of Christ: fully God, yet willing to step into ordinary human life. As I begin this journey through John’s Gospel, I’m excited to continue discovering more about who Jesus is and what it means to follow Him more faithfully.

What I Learned This Week

John 1:1-18 – The Word and the Witness

This passage is structured around two intertwining themes: “The Word” and “The Witness.”

The Word is identified as the eternal, pre-existent Jesus Christ, who was present “in the beginning” and through whom God created all things. As the Word, Jesus is the eternal Son through whom God created and sustains all things. He exists in an eternal, intimate, and co-equal relationship with the Father, sharing His divine nature while remaining distinct in person.

Most importantly, the Word became flesh and dwelt among us. Through Jesus, God made Himself known in a way never seen before. He came full of grace and truth, offering forgiveness, salvation, and the right to become children of God to all who receive Him by faith.

Alongside this theme is the witness of John the Baptist. His role was note to draw attention to himself but to testify to Christ. Through his witness, people were invited to recognise Jesus as the true Light who came into the world.

This passage ultimately points us to Jesus as the fullest revelation of God. If we want to know what God is like, we look to Christ.

John 1:19-36 – Not Me, But Him

The core theme of this passage is the witness of John the Baptist, who exemplifies profound humility by intentionally pointing people away from himself and toward Jesus.

John’s ministry functioned as the bridge to Christ. He explicitly denied being the Messiah, Elijah, or “the Prophet,” instead identifying himself simply as a voice in the wilderness fulfilling Old Testament prophecy.

Most importantly, he proclaimed Jesus as:

“Behold, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world!” (John 1:29)

John recognised that Jesus alone could accomplish what no one else could-the removal of sin and reconciliation with God. He also witnessed the Holy Spirit descending upon Jesus, confirming His divine identity.

John’s example challenges us to live with the same attitude. As he later says:

“He must increase, but I must decrease.” (John 3:30)

Living out “not me, but Him” means surrendering our desire for recognition and instead directing attention toward Christ. True greatness is found not in being noticed, but in faithfully pointing others to Jesus.

John’s humility naturally prepares the way for the next response to Jesus-not merely hearing about Him, but personally encountering Him.

John 1:37-51 – Come and See

This passage centres on Jesus’ simple invitation:

“Come, and you will see.” (John 1:39)

Rather than engaging in endless debates, Jesus invites people into relationship. The disciples responded by spending time with Him, and that encounter changed everything.

The passage also points back to Jacob’s Ladder in Genesis 28, where heaven and earth were connected. Jesus reveals Himself as the true bridge between God and humanity-the ultimate meeting place between heaven and earth.

Christianity is ultimately knowing a Person, not simply learning information. Jesus invites people into relationship with Himself. As He later declares:

“I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.” (John 14:6)

This passage also teaches the power of personal witness. Andrew didn’t give his brother Simon a theological lecture-he simply introduced him to Jesus. Likewise, we don’t need to have all the answers. Sometimes the most effective witness is simply inviting someone to “come and see.”

John 2:1-12 – Water to Wine

The miracle at Cana serves as the first of seven signs recorded in John’s Gospel. These signs reveal Jesus’ glory and demonstrate His divine authority.

The setting is significant. Jesus performs His first public sign at a wedding celebration, highlighting the joy, abundance and blessing that accompany His kingdom. When the wine ran out, Jesus transformed water from ceremonial purification jars into an abundance of superior wine.

This miracle points beyond itself to Jesus’ greater mission. Just as He transformed water into wine, He came to transforms sinners through His grace and establish a new covenant through His death and resurrection.

Mary’s instruction to the servants remains a powerful lesson for believers today:

“Do whatever He tells you.” (John 2:5)

Following Jesus involves trust and obedience, even when we don’t fully understand what He is doing. As we obey Him, we move from merely observing His work to actively participating in it.

How This Applies to Me

As I reflected on John 1:1-2:12 this week, I couldn’t help but see parts of my own story in the passage.

For years, I searched for identity, purpose, and satisfaction in all the wrong places. I looked to sexuality, alcohol, relationships, career success, and the approval of others to tell me who I was. Yet John’s Gospel begins by pointing me to a much deeper truth: Jesus is the eternal Word through whom all things were made.

If He created me, then He alone has the authority to define me.

That truth affects me profoundly because it reminds me that my identity is not found in my attractions, my past mistakes, my sobriety, or even my own perception of myself. My identity is found in Christ, the one who knew me before I knew Him.

The more I grow in my relationship with Jesus, the more I realise that He is not simply helping me improve my life-He is giving me an entirely new identity. My sobriety matters, but is not my saviour. My story maters, but it is not my hope. Jesus is both. Everything good in my life flows from His grace and His work within me.

John the Baptist’s example of “not me, but Him” also challenged me this week.

As I launched this blog, I felt both excited and nervous about sharing my story publicly. Part of me worried about how people might respond, whether they would understand my journey, or what they might think of me.

Yet this passage reminded me that the purpose of my testimony is not to draw attention to myself but to point people toward Jesus. Like John the Baptist, I want my life to be a witness. If people leave this blog impressed by my sobriety, my discipline, or my story, then I have missed the point. My prayer is that they would see Christ’s grace at work and be drawn to Him.

Ultimately, this passage reminds me that Jesus is both the source of my identity and the goal of my life. Whether in recovery, ministry, relationships, or daily struggles, my calling is the same: to know Him more deeply and help others to see Him more clearly.

A Prayer

Heavenly Father,

Thank You for Your grace, patience, and faithfulness. Thank You for pursuing us even when we are far from You and revealing Yourself to us through Your Son, Jesus Christ.

Thank You, Jesus, for being the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world and for making a way for us to be reconciled to the Father.

Thank You that our identity is not found in our past, our struggles, our achievements, or the labels we place on ourselves, but in belonging to You.

Lord, help us to live with the humility of John the Baptist, always pointing others toward Jesus rather than ourselves. Give us the courage to obey You in the small everyday things, trusting that Your plans are better than our own.

Strengthen those of us who are walking through recovery, grief, temptation, or uncertainty, and remind us that we never walk alone.

I pray for every person reading this. Wherever they are in their journey, draw them closer to You. Help them to hear Christ’s invitation to “come and see” and to discover the hope, joy, and new life that can only be found in Him.

May our lives be a witness to Your goodness, and may everything we do bring glory to Your name.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen

Looking Ahead

One practical goal for the coming week is to spend intentional time with Jesus every day before allowing the distractions of the day to take over.

Throughout my study of John 1:1-2:12, I have been reminded that following Christ is not simply about gaining knowledge, but about developing a relationship with Him. As someone who spent many years searching for identity and satisfaction in other places, I want to continue building the habit of seeking Christ first.

Whether through reading Scripture, prayer, or quiet reflection, my goal is to set aside dedicated time each day to draw near to Him. By doing so, I hope to grow in my understanding of who Jesus is, strengthen my walk in sobriety, and learn more fully what it means to live with a “not me, but Him” attitude in everyday life, so that Jesus would be increasingly visible in my words, decisions, and relationships.

My Questions for You

Before I finish, I’d love to hear how God has been working in your life as well. One of the blessings of following Jesus is that we don’t walk this journey alone-we encourage one another as we grow in faith together.

1. What has God been teaching you this week?
2. John the Baptist lived with a “not me, but Him” attitude. What areas of your life might God be calling you to surrender so that Jesus becomes more visible?
3. The first disciples responded to Jesus’ invitation to “come and see.” What would it look like for you to spend more intentional time with Christ this week?
4. Looking back over the past week, where have you seen evidence of God’s grace, provision, or faithfulness in your life?

Grace and peace,

My Sobering Grace